Theo went for his 4 month check up on friday. he now weighs 14 lbs 9 oz and is 25 3/4 in long. that's 50th percentile for weight and 75th percentile for height!
he is now fantastic at supported sitting and can even keep himself propped up for 1-2 seconds before falling over. but he absolutely LOVES practicing; we prop him up with the boppy pillow around his belly and he can sit like that for 10 minutes or more! he's been "talking" a lot more in the past few weeks. even though he's not saying actual words, you can tell he definitely has a message that he wants to convey when he makes a sound...whether it's out of excitement, curiosity, silliness, sleepiness, or frustration, he always lets you know! he's also recently discovered his feet and is starting to enjoy tummy time a whole lot more. last weekend, he rolled over from his tummy to his back for the first time ever! there haven't been any repeat occurences, so sadly tyler missed it, but it was still pretty exciting. he just looked up at me afterwards with the most surprised look on his face! i'm pretty sure he would have started crying had i not been there smiling back at him to tell him what he did was actually exciting and not scary.
we haven't made much progress in the sleep department. the night before he turned 4 months old, he got a 5 hour stretch of sleep. but he's been back to stirring every 1-3 hours ever since. he's not necessarily always hungry when he stirs (i don't say "wakes" because he never actually opens his eyes, he just cries in his sleep until we figure out what he needs and calms back down)...most of the time he needs to pass gas and this upsets him, and other times we have no idea what's wrong and he just cries until we can help him get back to sleep either by rocking him, rubbing his feet (which works surprisingly well!), or comfort nursing him. co-sleeping is the only way i am getting enough sleep to function. and while co-sleeping wasn't my original plan, i actually really enjoy it and sometimes feel sad when i think about the fact that we won't be able to do this forever. it definitely does have its downsides though...the main problem being that he won't fall asleep at night unless i'm in bed with him, which means i am going to bed between 8:30 and 9 pm every night. it's doable for now, since i'm still waking up every few hours so i really need the extra sleep. but once he starts sleeping for longer spurts, this is going to be a silly time for me to be going to bed. especially since i work till 7 pm monday-thursdays. hmph.
we tried offering him solid foods once he turned 4 months. yeah, that didn't go so well. he hated the rice cereal and actually grimaced when we offered him banana a few nights later! he's definitely showing all the signs of being ready for solids, but after those two initial tries, we're going to wait until 5 months to try anything else. he had the worst night of sleep ever the night we gave him the banana...so yeah, there's no need to rush back into that in my opinion.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
1/4 year old!!
ladies and gentleman, we have officially turned a corner! last week, theo finally started to eat more during each feeding, which means we are no longer feeding him every hour!! it's amazing...he had a big growth spurt in which he suddenly drank up all the milk i had saved up (both fridge and freezer) over the course of two days, then i was with him friday-monday for the long holiday weekend and by friday afternoon we were suddenly on a very clear eat-play-sleep schedule, with theo only needing to eat every 2.5-3 hours! before when i would try to feed him, he would only take one side then be done with it, but now he's finally interested in both sides for every feeding!
he's also laughing a TON now, is slowly starting to tolerate tummy time a little more, and is starting to (clumsily) move objects towards his face with his hands! yesterday in the car he gnawed on his stuffed giraffe for a good ten minutes or so. :-) it's really amazing how much more aware he suddenly is of his surroundings.
also, over the weekend he got to meet his aunts and uncles on the baber side, which he absolutely loved! grandpa charlie also volunteered to give him his first tractor ride, but i (as politely as i could) declined. :-P for now, we just took a mini tractor photo shoot.
he's also laughing a TON now, is slowly starting to tolerate tummy time a little more, and is starting to (clumsily) move objects towards his face with his hands! yesterday in the car he gnawed on his stuffed giraffe for a good ten minutes or so. :-) it's really amazing how much more aware he suddenly is of his surroundings.
also, over the weekend he got to meet his aunts and uncles on the baber side, which he absolutely loved! grandpa charlie also volunteered to give him his first tractor ride, but i (as politely as i could) declined. :-P for now, we just took a mini tractor photo shoot.
Monday, August 30, 2010
12 weeks - some updates on my boy :-)
enough whining, here are some fun little updates on Theo!
lately he's been discovering his hands, which is lots of fun! when he focuses hard enough, he can aim and swat at various objects (faces, toys, books, etc). yesterday i caught him just sitting and staring at his hands for a long time while we were in the car! :-) he's also been eating his hands and sucking on his fingers for a few weeks now, which i'm VERY excited about since he doesn't take the pacifier for any long amount of time. i think we've definitely got a thumbsucker on our hands. :-)
he's also been squealing for a few weeks now, and it is just the best sound ever! we've only caught him belly laughing two or three times now, but the squealing is now part of the morning routine. :-) he just wakes up so happy in the mornings and he loves laying on the changing pad! so most mornings we just lay him down and play with him for a few minutes on the changing pad and he kicks and squeals himself silly. :-)
over the weekend, Theo got to meet his second cousin, Tank (technically i think there's a "once removed" in there or something, but who's keeping track??). Tank (formally, Frank Howard Baber V) is 6 weeks younger than Theo. it's already so hard to remember Theo being that small!! it was also really great to catch up with Tank's mom, Tana and to swap stories and experiences. we're definitely looking forward to many years of those two growing up and playing with each other. :-)
last night, Theo gave me a 4 hour stretch of sleep, which was really nice! we've started using some of the sleep tips from The No Cry Sleep Solution book and so far i really like it. personally, this book makes more sense to me than some of the "cry it out" books out there, because it emphasizes more behavioral training and forming positive sleep associations rather than the idea that the baby will eventually just get so frustrated and fed up that he'll wear himself out. i know that's NOT the main premise of the cry it out books, but i just can't imagine how anyone could learn how to relax when they're basically crying themselves to sleep. so anyway, this is what's working for us. mostly, i've adjusted to his schedule so that i can get enough sleep and feel rested for the day, and i've learned to be very happy with ANY signs of progress. :-)
lately he's been discovering his hands, which is lots of fun! when he focuses hard enough, he can aim and swat at various objects (faces, toys, books, etc). yesterday i caught him just sitting and staring at his hands for a long time while we were in the car! :-) he's also been eating his hands and sucking on his fingers for a few weeks now, which i'm VERY excited about since he doesn't take the pacifier for any long amount of time. i think we've definitely got a thumbsucker on our hands. :-)
he's also been squealing for a few weeks now, and it is just the best sound ever! we've only caught him belly laughing two or three times now, but the squealing is now part of the morning routine. :-) he just wakes up so happy in the mornings and he loves laying on the changing pad! so most mornings we just lay him down and play with him for a few minutes on the changing pad and he kicks and squeals himself silly. :-)
over the weekend, Theo got to meet his second cousin, Tank (technically i think there's a "once removed" in there or something, but who's keeping track??). Tank (formally, Frank Howard Baber V) is 6 weeks younger than Theo. it's already so hard to remember Theo being that small!! it was also really great to catch up with Tank's mom, Tana and to swap stories and experiences. we're definitely looking forward to many years of those two growing up and playing with each other. :-)
last night, Theo gave me a 4 hour stretch of sleep, which was really nice! we've started using some of the sleep tips from The No Cry Sleep Solution book and so far i really like it. personally, this book makes more sense to me than some of the "cry it out" books out there, because it emphasizes more behavioral training and forming positive sleep associations rather than the idea that the baby will eventually just get so frustrated and fed up that he'll wear himself out. i know that's NOT the main premise of the cry it out books, but i just can't imagine how anyone could learn how to relax when they're basically crying themselves to sleep. so anyway, this is what's working for us. mostly, i've adjusted to his schedule so that i can get enough sleep and feel rested for the day, and i've learned to be very happy with ANY signs of progress. :-)
Thursday, August 26, 2010
breastfeeding is (still) hard
so maybe this blog has turned out to be more of a forum for me to whine than an actual place to give baby updates! oh well. today's topic is breastfeeding (again) and the many lessons i've had to learn about it.
so the last two months are basically a blur at this point, but to get you caught up to speed, we were doing well at some point in there. theo's latch problems are a thing of the past and i was really becoming in tune with his eating needs. then, about two weeks ago, i downloaded this app to my ipod that helped me track his every move throughout the day, since i couldn't figure out why we still couldn't successfully leave the house for any amount of time even though he'd hit the 2 month mark. it turns out, he was still eating EVERY SINGLE HOUR! so i tracked it for 2 weeks and basically just adapted to his schedule. but then i started work and realized that we can't keep this up forever. he's still only eating about an ounce per hour, no matter when or how much food we offer him.
and now that i'm back to work i'm pumping 4x a day (working 10 hr days). it sucks. pumping is (still) annoying and cleanup is a hassle and pumping 4x per day means that that's 4 clients that i can't see every day, which adds up pretty darn quickly!
so yesterday i talked to a lactation consultant on the phone. she pretty much confirmed what i'd already suspected...an oversupply of milk. which is funny because it's not like i'm pumping 6-8 oz every time like some moms you read about on the babycenter message boards. nope, still only pumping about 3-4 oz on for both sides on a good day. also, this is especially ironic after re-reading my last post about having to get my supply up! but she thinks that i have a foremilk/hindmilk imbalance, which is leading theo to feel less satisfied at each feeding, which is leading him to get hungry again every single hour.
so, the lactation consultant now has me on a block feeding/pumping schedule, where i'm only using one side to feed or pump for 6 hour time chunks. for example, today from noon to 5:59 i'm on the right side. then at 6, i'll pump on the left and continue using the left until tonight at 11:59, and so on. it doesn't matter how many times i pump or feed on each side during that time chunk, it just matters that i'm only stimulating one breast at a time to send my body the message "hey, quit making so much milk!" that way, my body will be more in line with his needs and then there will be more of the fatty hindmilk for him to eat at each feeding. in the meantime, i'm feeling very lopsided. and it hurts. i never really understood how engorgement would hurt, but it really really does. ugh.
all of that to say, i feel like a freaking science experiment most days! between the hindmilk issue, the reflux, the possible dairy sensitivity, and the just general unexplained fussiness, there are just too many potential variables to account for and i am overwhelmed. we now live in a society with maybe TOO MUCH information, which leaves newbie parents like me getting confused and overwhelmed and always questioning myself and overdiagnosing my problems. a big part of parenting, i'm learning, is just trial and error with a lot of unsolicited advice thrown in for good measure. and then eventually they grow out of that stage anyway and you never really know if what you did actually worked or if they just moved on.
so yeah, i'm learning a lot. i think. or at least i'm trying a lot. and that has to count for something, right?
so the last two months are basically a blur at this point, but to get you caught up to speed, we were doing well at some point in there. theo's latch problems are a thing of the past and i was really becoming in tune with his eating needs. then, about two weeks ago, i downloaded this app to my ipod that helped me track his every move throughout the day, since i couldn't figure out why we still couldn't successfully leave the house for any amount of time even though he'd hit the 2 month mark. it turns out, he was still eating EVERY SINGLE HOUR! so i tracked it for 2 weeks and basically just adapted to his schedule. but then i started work and realized that we can't keep this up forever. he's still only eating about an ounce per hour, no matter when or how much food we offer him.
and now that i'm back to work i'm pumping 4x a day (working 10 hr days). it sucks. pumping is (still) annoying and cleanup is a hassle and pumping 4x per day means that that's 4 clients that i can't see every day, which adds up pretty darn quickly!
so yesterday i talked to a lactation consultant on the phone. she pretty much confirmed what i'd already suspected...an oversupply of milk. which is funny because it's not like i'm pumping 6-8 oz every time like some moms you read about on the babycenter message boards. nope, still only pumping about 3-4 oz on for both sides on a good day. also, this is especially ironic after re-reading my last post about having to get my supply up! but she thinks that i have a foremilk/hindmilk imbalance, which is leading theo to feel less satisfied at each feeding, which is leading him to get hungry again every single hour.
so, the lactation consultant now has me on a block feeding/pumping schedule, where i'm only using one side to feed or pump for 6 hour time chunks. for example, today from noon to 5:59 i'm on the right side. then at 6, i'll pump on the left and continue using the left until tonight at 11:59, and so on. it doesn't matter how many times i pump or feed on each side during that time chunk, it just matters that i'm only stimulating one breast at a time to send my body the message "hey, quit making so much milk!" that way, my body will be more in line with his needs and then there will be more of the fatty hindmilk for him to eat at each feeding. in the meantime, i'm feeling very lopsided. and it hurts. i never really understood how engorgement would hurt, but it really really does. ugh.
all of that to say, i feel like a freaking science experiment most days! between the hindmilk issue, the reflux, the possible dairy sensitivity, and the just general unexplained fussiness, there are just too many potential variables to account for and i am overwhelmed. we now live in a society with maybe TOO MUCH information, which leaves newbie parents like me getting confused and overwhelmed and always questioning myself and overdiagnosing my problems. a big part of parenting, i'm learning, is just trial and error with a lot of unsolicited advice thrown in for good measure. and then eventually they grow out of that stage anyway and you never really know if what you did actually worked or if they just moved on.
so yeah, i'm learning a lot. i think. or at least i'm trying a lot. and that has to count for something, right?
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
adventures in breastfeeding!
i had no idea feeding a baby would be such hard work!! the past two and a half weeks have been exhausting, both physically and emotionally. of course, everyone warned me it would be...but the ups and downs of being a new parent is apparently one of those things you just have to learn the hard way.
it all started on day one, when theo first tried to nurse. he had an incredibly strong "chomping" latch, which badly bruised my left nipple and only woke for 2 feedings that first 24 hours. i wish someone had gotten more suspicious about this before we left the birth center, but alas, we didn't know any better.
on day 2, when he still wasn't waking for feedings or latching very well, i looked in his mouth and realized that he was tongue-tied. luckily, we had the number for a lactation consultant and got an appointment later that week to get it evaluated and clipped.
days 3-7 are a blur. his bilirubin level went up high enough that we had to go to the hospital, and after 11 hours under the bili lights and a full night of formula feeding (which i was FURIOUS about), he was much much better. also, he got his tongue-tie clipped and we had to learn how to latch all over again. because of this, he wasn't eating enough and didn't gain enough weight in the first week.
days 7-14 - focus on fattening him up. 3 lactation consultation visits later, i am now offering the breast first, then supplementing with expressed breastmilk for every feeding. it SUCKS. pumping hurts more than that first terrible latch, it's boring (but a MAJOR shoutout to my wonderful husband for going out to buy me a pumping bra so i can have both hands free during these 20 minute pumping sessions and for renting a hospital grade pump all by himself!), and it really limits my ability to "sleep when the baby's sleeping" since i am basically a human milk machine at this point. pumping is not only helping him get the extra food he needs, but it's also working to increase my milk supply as well (which fell off when he wasn't eating well those first few days). but still. it sucks.
oh, also somewhere in there he had to get his tongue-tie clipped AGAIN because it had started healing up wrong and was interferring with his latch still. insert MORE re-learning how to latch work.
yesterday (day 16) - stayed up all night fussing and screaming. i think it might have been the broccoli i ate for dinner, since he also fussed a few nights last week when i had salad for dinner. guess this means no more green veggies for dinner anymore. luckily, we were both able to sleep for most of the day to make up for the craziness of this night. hoping this doesn't become a pattern.
today (day 17) - he has gained enough of his birth weight back that the pediatrician is no longer as worried about him. however, we still have to pump until his latch gets good enough that he can transfer all the milk i have to offer. and my supply still isn't where it should be either. i've started taking the herbs fenugreek and blessed thistle to help increase my milk supply. i take it in this tincture form that is also 50% grain alcohol, so it basically feels like taking a shot of whiskey 3 times a day. not fun, but hopefully it'll help. also, since my internal clock is a lot less flexible than his, i am still awake at 2:15 AM while he is fast asleep. guess i can't win either way.
i've heard this gets easier as time goes on.
it all started on day one, when theo first tried to nurse. he had an incredibly strong "chomping" latch, which badly bruised my left nipple and only woke for 2 feedings that first 24 hours. i wish someone had gotten more suspicious about this before we left the birth center, but alas, we didn't know any better.
on day 2, when he still wasn't waking for feedings or latching very well, i looked in his mouth and realized that he was tongue-tied. luckily, we had the number for a lactation consultant and got an appointment later that week to get it evaluated and clipped.
days 3-7 are a blur. his bilirubin level went up high enough that we had to go to the hospital, and after 11 hours under the bili lights and a full night of formula feeding (which i was FURIOUS about), he was much much better. also, he got his tongue-tie clipped and we had to learn how to latch all over again. because of this, he wasn't eating enough and didn't gain enough weight in the first week.
days 7-14 - focus on fattening him up. 3 lactation consultation visits later, i am now offering the breast first, then supplementing with expressed breastmilk for every feeding. it SUCKS. pumping hurts more than that first terrible latch, it's boring (but a MAJOR shoutout to my wonderful husband for going out to buy me a pumping bra so i can have both hands free during these 20 minute pumping sessions and for renting a hospital grade pump all by himself!), and it really limits my ability to "sleep when the baby's sleeping" since i am basically a human milk machine at this point. pumping is not only helping him get the extra food he needs, but it's also working to increase my milk supply as well (which fell off when he wasn't eating well those first few days). but still. it sucks.
oh, also somewhere in there he had to get his tongue-tie clipped AGAIN because it had started healing up wrong and was interferring with his latch still. insert MORE re-learning how to latch work.
yesterday (day 16) - stayed up all night fussing and screaming. i think it might have been the broccoli i ate for dinner, since he also fussed a few nights last week when i had salad for dinner. guess this means no more green veggies for dinner anymore. luckily, we were both able to sleep for most of the day to make up for the craziness of this night. hoping this doesn't become a pattern.
today (day 17) - he has gained enough of his birth weight back that the pediatrician is no longer as worried about him. however, we still have to pump until his latch gets good enough that he can transfer all the milk i have to offer. and my supply still isn't where it should be either. i've started taking the herbs fenugreek and blessed thistle to help increase my milk supply. i take it in this tincture form that is also 50% grain alcohol, so it basically feels like taking a shot of whiskey 3 times a day. not fun, but hopefully it'll help. also, since my internal clock is a lot less flexible than his, i am still awake at 2:15 AM while he is fast asleep. guess i can't win either way.
i've heard this gets easier as time goes on.
Friday, June 11, 2010
birth day
to simplify things, i'm going to tell you our birth story in timeline form. otherwise, i might never get this thing typed!!
6/3/10
4:30 PM - started the usual nightly contractions, about 5 min apart, lasting one min long for several hours. the birth center's orders were to call when they were 4 min apart, lasting one min long, for at least one hour.
bedtime - still having contractions, getting more intense but not consistently close enough to call the birth center.
6/4/10
9 AM - rough night. slept between contractions, but not through them. no progress, very tired. called the birth center, decided to go in early for our 40 wk appt that day.
11 AM - birth center appt. finally got my cervix checked, VERY frustrated to learn that although i was 100% effaced, i was still only 1 cm dilated. sent home with a prescription for ambien to get some rest before active labor, was told i would probably have my baby in the next day or two.
2:30 PM - ambien helped me to sleep for maybe an hour or two, but still felt every contraction and they were still getting worse. feeling EXHAUSTED.
3 PM - called friend rose to find a recommendation for a free doula.
4 PM - doula identified, on her way. i got in the bath, it didn't help.
4:30 PM - introduced myself to our doula, a complete stranger prior to this experience, entirely in the nude. didn't care; contractions HURT!
4:30-7ish PM - tried various comfort measures and deep breathing...got through them okay. no longer feeling as frustrated about all the previous false alarms but ready for this to be pronounced as REAL.
7 PM - called the birth center, was told to wait another hour till they were under 4 min apart.
7:30 PM - i pronounced that it was TIME TO LEAVE. the birth center responded by saying "okay". used my hypnobirthing tape in the car for the 40 min ride and it helped.
8:10 PM - arrived at birth center. cervix check: 5 cm. midwife made a guess that we would have our baby first thing the next morning, when the birds started chirping outside. i insisted it would be sooner than that.
8:10 - midnight - active labor. lots of fanning me off, cold washcloths, trying comfortable positions, deep breathing. got in the jacuzzi for a bit, but didn't like the jets turned on. the water felt great, but couldn't find a comfortable position to sit for very long. also had to get an IV because i wasn't staying hydrated enough. disappointed, but took it like a champ.
6/5/10
12:30ish - cervix check. 7 cm. IS THAT ALL??? ugh.
12:30 - 2:30 AM - more active labor. let the moaning begin. i had no idea i would be so...primal...during labor. i was just like all of those women you see in the birth videos groaning through every contraction and i totally didn't care. tyler later compared the sounds to "being in a haunted house".
2:30 AM - another cervix check. STILL 7 cm. almost started to cry, i was so frustrated. OMG. midwife gave us two options. 1) transfer to the hospital to get pitocin. 2) break my water and take some stadol to help me get through transition. reassess in 2 hours, once the stadol wears off. we opted for option #2. broke the water, found some bits of meconium. momentary scare, thought we'd still have to go to the hospital. but they decided it was only a few small clumps and not enough to warrant a transfer. if he came out and wasn't active and fussy, they'd have to take immediate measures.
3:30 AM - contractions were 30 sec apart. the stadol made me just trippy enough that i remember starting out having some random short dream and then through each contraction i just kept thinking to myself "just let me get through this one so i can get back to that dream!" continue lots of scary moaning and out of body levels of intensity. cervix check: 10 cm. holy crap, i just dilated 3 cm in ONE HOUR!!!
3:50 AM - i started feeling the urge to push. midwife told me to listen to my body but that she wouldn't start coaching me through pushing until 4:30, once the stadol wore off. i remember feeling frustrated that i couldn't get down on the floor to squat it out like i'd hoped i would. because of the stadol, they made me stay in the bed. i was on my side, with one leg up on a birth ball. i started pushing anyway, because how the heck are you supposed to stop something like that?? i later compared this feeling to "needing to throw up, but at the other end". there's just no stopping it.
4:20ish - midwife started coaching me through pushing. i was so focused at this point, i couldn't open my eyes and i really wasn't aware of anything outside of my own body. whenever anyone started talking too much, i could only say "shhhh!" i didn't have time to think about the "ring of fire", because i was so focused on just getting this whole thing over with. at various points, things got so intense that i swear i didn't even care if my baby was born JUST GET HIM OUT OF ME!!! of course, this feeling immediately wore off once the midwife told me to feel down at my crotch to feel his head crowning. wow, there's a real person coming out of me!!! utter excitement and new motivation to keep going.
5:03 AM - wow, so that's what a head feels like coming out of you. the rest of the body easily slipped out. theo was placed on my chest and i was in love. tyler cut the cord, i got 3 stitches. nothing else mattered besides this new little man in my life (7 lbs 15 oz, 20.5 inches long). begin: parenthood.
6/3/10
4:30 PM - started the usual nightly contractions, about 5 min apart, lasting one min long for several hours. the birth center's orders were to call when they were 4 min apart, lasting one min long, for at least one hour.
bedtime - still having contractions, getting more intense but not consistently close enough to call the birth center.
6/4/10
9 AM - rough night. slept between contractions, but not through them. no progress, very tired. called the birth center, decided to go in early for our 40 wk appt that day.
11 AM - birth center appt. finally got my cervix checked, VERY frustrated to learn that although i was 100% effaced, i was still only 1 cm dilated. sent home with a prescription for ambien to get some rest before active labor, was told i would probably have my baby in the next day or two.
2:30 PM - ambien helped me to sleep for maybe an hour or two, but still felt every contraction and they were still getting worse. feeling EXHAUSTED.
3 PM - called friend rose to find a recommendation for a free doula.
4 PM - doula identified, on her way. i got in the bath, it didn't help.
4:30 PM - introduced myself to our doula, a complete stranger prior to this experience, entirely in the nude. didn't care; contractions HURT!
4:30-7ish PM - tried various comfort measures and deep breathing...got through them okay. no longer feeling as frustrated about all the previous false alarms but ready for this to be pronounced as REAL.
7 PM - called the birth center, was told to wait another hour till they were under 4 min apart.
7:30 PM - i pronounced that it was TIME TO LEAVE. the birth center responded by saying "okay". used my hypnobirthing tape in the car for the 40 min ride and it helped.
8:10 PM - arrived at birth center. cervix check: 5 cm. midwife made a guess that we would have our baby first thing the next morning, when the birds started chirping outside. i insisted it would be sooner than that.
8:10 - midnight - active labor. lots of fanning me off, cold washcloths, trying comfortable positions, deep breathing. got in the jacuzzi for a bit, but didn't like the jets turned on. the water felt great, but couldn't find a comfortable position to sit for very long. also had to get an IV because i wasn't staying hydrated enough. disappointed, but took it like a champ.
6/5/10
12:30ish - cervix check. 7 cm. IS THAT ALL??? ugh.
12:30 - 2:30 AM - more active labor. let the moaning begin. i had no idea i would be so...primal...during labor. i was just like all of those women you see in the birth videos groaning through every contraction and i totally didn't care. tyler later compared the sounds to "being in a haunted house".
2:30 AM - another cervix check. STILL 7 cm. almost started to cry, i was so frustrated. OMG. midwife gave us two options. 1) transfer to the hospital to get pitocin. 2) break my water and take some stadol to help me get through transition. reassess in 2 hours, once the stadol wears off. we opted for option #2. broke the water, found some bits of meconium. momentary scare, thought we'd still have to go to the hospital. but they decided it was only a few small clumps and not enough to warrant a transfer. if he came out and wasn't active and fussy, they'd have to take immediate measures.
3:30 AM - contractions were 30 sec apart. the stadol made me just trippy enough that i remember starting out having some random short dream and then through each contraction i just kept thinking to myself "just let me get through this one so i can get back to that dream!" continue lots of scary moaning and out of body levels of intensity. cervix check: 10 cm. holy crap, i just dilated 3 cm in ONE HOUR!!!
3:50 AM - i started feeling the urge to push. midwife told me to listen to my body but that she wouldn't start coaching me through pushing until 4:30, once the stadol wore off. i remember feeling frustrated that i couldn't get down on the floor to squat it out like i'd hoped i would. because of the stadol, they made me stay in the bed. i was on my side, with one leg up on a birth ball. i started pushing anyway, because how the heck are you supposed to stop something like that?? i later compared this feeling to "needing to throw up, but at the other end". there's just no stopping it.
4:20ish - midwife started coaching me through pushing. i was so focused at this point, i couldn't open my eyes and i really wasn't aware of anything outside of my own body. whenever anyone started talking too much, i could only say "shhhh!" i didn't have time to think about the "ring of fire", because i was so focused on just getting this whole thing over with. at various points, things got so intense that i swear i didn't even care if my baby was born JUST GET HIM OUT OF ME!!! of course, this feeling immediately wore off once the midwife told me to feel down at my crotch to feel his head crowning. wow, there's a real person coming out of me!!! utter excitement and new motivation to keep going.
5:03 AM - wow, so that's what a head feels like coming out of you. the rest of the body easily slipped out. theo was placed on my chest and i was in love. tyler cut the cord, i got 3 stitches. nothing else mattered besides this new little man in my life (7 lbs 15 oz, 20.5 inches long). begin: parenthood.
Monday, May 31, 2010
we're having our first fight.
yes, i am currently feeling angry at my unborn son. see, the problem is, he sees himself as completely comfortable in my belly and i disagree. my abs hurt from all the contractions (every single night) this past week, i'm frustrated that i missed out on a lot of fun things this holiday weekend so we could stay close to home "just in case", and i'm starting to feel like he just might prove everyone wrong and decide to never come out. i've found myself wondering what the world record is for "longest labor".
my friend haley mentioned the other day that she thinks a baby's labor can usually be linked to their personality later on in life. it made perfect sense to me...i was born 3-4 weeks early and i am incredibly impatient! what worries me is that this perfectly content baby boy is going to grow up to frustrate his impatient mother time and time again (not unlike his father, who is also one of the most easygoing people i've ever known!).
our health insurance is changing as of june 1, which is also making me anxious. i don't think it's going to change very much...but we all know how fun it is to receive surprise insurance bills weeks after having some kind of medical procedure! it just would have been so much easier if he'd been born today or earlier. but that doesn't look like it's in the cards right now. i've been doing all the "natural induction" methods...pineapple, spicy foods, walking...you name it, we've done it! the problem isn't that i can't get contractions to start...the problem is KEEPING THEM GOING!!
anyway, my complete state of grumpiness is now turning me into a recluse. don't be surprised if you e-mail, call, or text me and i don't respond. i just don't see the point in turning my wrath on some innocent, curious friend or bystander for now.
the answers to your questions are:
yes, i'm still pregnant
no, i'm not feeling comfortable
yes, we're very READY for this baby to be born!
no, i don't know if i'm dilated or effaced
yes, i'm still having contractions
no, there's nothing we can do to help speed this thing along to accommodate your busy schedule
now, if you're not here to bring me watermelon or some other delicious treat, you can be on your way.
my friend haley mentioned the other day that she thinks a baby's labor can usually be linked to their personality later on in life. it made perfect sense to me...i was born 3-4 weeks early and i am incredibly impatient! what worries me is that this perfectly content baby boy is going to grow up to frustrate his impatient mother time and time again (not unlike his father, who is also one of the most easygoing people i've ever known!).
our health insurance is changing as of june 1, which is also making me anxious. i don't think it's going to change very much...but we all know how fun it is to receive surprise insurance bills weeks after having some kind of medical procedure! it just would have been so much easier if he'd been born today or earlier. but that doesn't look like it's in the cards right now. i've been doing all the "natural induction" methods...pineapple, spicy foods, walking...you name it, we've done it! the problem isn't that i can't get contractions to start...the problem is KEEPING THEM GOING!!
anyway, my complete state of grumpiness is now turning me into a recluse. don't be surprised if you e-mail, call, or text me and i don't respond. i just don't see the point in turning my wrath on some innocent, curious friend or bystander for now.
the answers to your questions are:
yes, i'm still pregnant
no, i'm not feeling comfortable
yes, we're very READY for this baby to be born!
no, i don't know if i'm dilated or effaced
yes, i'm still having contractions
no, there's nothing we can do to help speed this thing along to accommodate your busy schedule
now, if you're not here to bring me watermelon or some other delicious treat, you can be on your way.
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